Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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