I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
