I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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