is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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