When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
