She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
