I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
