Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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