If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
