I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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