I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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