My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
