i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize