If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
