They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
