I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
