All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
