I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
