I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
