He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Come on in and take your pants off
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