where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
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Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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