smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
What a fucking waste of an outfit
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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