YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
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So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
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Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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