K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
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She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
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This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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