the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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