I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Randomize
