You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
