So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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