I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
