Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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