Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
