I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
