for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
