Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
