Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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