Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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