i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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