some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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