nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
