She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
