I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
