These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I will be naked everywhere
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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