apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
