i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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