You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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