she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
