I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize