Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
