I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.