Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
