Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.