I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night