Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
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My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
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i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.