I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
where are you?
Hypothermia
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
