is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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