I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
