I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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