I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
