Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
