she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
