I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
