$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
