Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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