he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
birth control should be required to get into college
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
