You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
