Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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