And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
