I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
