im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
