Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
