he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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