You can't motorboat a personality
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
